G F G/C Gm It's about all the sad stuff. Just picture a depressed onion cutting itself. G F G/C Gm G F I met a homeless man named Rich G C Isn't that terrible? G F I saw a flyer for a lost dog Gm Gm And the dog didn't have any legs G F Gm C I saw a diabetic kid trick-or-treating G F I saw a giraffe who had a short neck Gm C That was sad, or a deer G F G C I saw an old man get hit by a train G F He didn't see it in the pouring rain G C G He didn't hear me shout, "Look out for the train!" Because I didn't say anything. G F G/C Gm G F G/C Gm I just thought to myself, "Ooh, this is gonna be sad." G F G/C Gm And it was. G F G/C Gm I'm a genius. G F I saw a man with only one eye G C In a 3D movie G F I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone Gm Gm Directly on his mother's corpse G F I saw a kitten stuck in a tree Gm C Then the kitten jumped off and he hung himself G F Gm C I saw a boy who had red hair. G F G C I went to a store looking for something to buy G F But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy G C No, wait--this store sells mirrors! G See what I did there? G Gm F Fm Let's rock! No. G F I saw an old man slip and fall Gm C Hey, what a fucking idiot G F I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral Gm C Ha ha ha. Classic comedy. G F Everything that once was sad Gm C Is somehow funny now G F The Holocaust and 9/11 Gm C That shit's funny 24/7, cuz G F G C Tragedy will be exclusively joked about G F G Because my empathy is bumming me out C G Goodbye, sadness G F G/C Gm G Hello jokes.
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